Nuzlocke: Random Version
by timberwolf v1
Summary: My Randomized Fire Red Nuzlocke Run in text form! Nuzlocke in a nutshell means that pokemon who faint are considered dead and must be released. Other rules will be introduced in the story so read and follow along as our protagonist Timb takes the Nuzlocke Challenge! R&R! Chapter 1 up!
1. A New Beginning

**A/N: This fic is based off my Randomized Nuzlocke run of Fire Red. There will be some references to my other story "The Adventures of Ash Ketchup" here and there just as an FYI. Chapters will likely be shorter as well. Hope you enjoy! =D**

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**~Chapter 1: New Beginnings~**

_Bag? Check._

_PokeWatch? Check._

_Hat? Check._

_Underwear? Check-a-roonie!_

"Alright! I'm all set!" I exclaimed aloud to no one in particular. Today was an important day in my life as well as the lives of many naive ten year olds. For you see, today was the day that I was to get my first pokemon...at least here in the Ranto Region. Okay okay...I guess we need a little backstory here. Let me flip on this decades old Nintendo Entertainment System while I explain.

"..."

"GOD DAMN IT! WHY WON"T YOU TURN ON?!"

Ahem. Sorry about that. As I was saying, my family and I just moved here to the Ranto from a little region called Sandwich. I was a pretty accomplished trainer there, having earned eight badges and all that jazz, but then for some inexplicable reason, my mom decided that she was tired of sandwiches and relocated us. Due to some backwards ass Sandwich Region customs, I was forced to leave my Pokemon with Professor Yew. This was difficult to take at first, but we communicate almost daily through Skype so it's no big deal.

But then we got here in Ranto and I found out that there's a one year waiting period for any "out of state" trainer. During this period of time, trainers aren't allowed to challenge any gym leaders or catch any wild pokemon (though apparently slave pokemon are fine as evidenced by the house maid Mr. Mime). You may also be wondering why this region is called Ranto and why it sounds so familiar. Well I'll tell you. The more widely known Kanto Region lies to the north of Ranto and the two regions are very similar. A little _too_ similar in my opinion. In fact, if you look at any map you'll see that they're darn near identical! But we live in a world where fuzzy monsters can kill us at any time so who am I to complain right?

There does seem to be a rather interesting difference though. Professor Kao who lives in town does a whole bunch of research on what he calls the "Randomizer Effect" which seems to be localized to the Ranto Region. Essentially pokemon are randomly scattered about in all routes and areas. Instead of fighting a Pidgey in Route 1 for example, you might encounter an Ursaring or a Slaking...or a Spinda. The Gym Leaders take advantage of this and switch their pokemon around every so often to keep trainers on their toes as does the Elite 4 and Champion.

"Freakin Mario man you're not supposed to jump into the endless abyss! GAH!"

Back on point, this also means that starter pokemon are randomized. But instead of choosing, a pokeball is selected based on the last digit of your trainer ID. Hey don't judge, I read up on Ranto customs and what have you, don't all trainers? There is a rumor out there as well that I don't really feel like talking about because it sounds too horrific to be true...let's just leave it at that for now.

"Honey! Hurry up or you'll be late!"

"Ok Mom!"

That would be my mom. Nice lady, big fan of pokemon even though she doesn't have one aside from our slave Mr. Mime. Her husband (my dad!) is always off somewhere on an adventure. He reminds me of Finn the Human from that show Adventure Time hehe.

The door flew open as I scrambled down the stairs, hoping that I wasn't too late to nab a pokemon from the lab. Noticing my mom sitting there with a stoic expression on her face, I waved at her hesitantly.

"All little boys go out on adventures...it said so on the TV..."

"Uh...I'm not a little boy though. Whatever. Bye!"

Walking around the small town, I noticed my fat friend Bob, standing around as he usually does.

"Hey Bob! How goes it?"

He turned to me and scratched his bulging stomach, a sight which nearly made me throw up on the spot.

"Oh hey Timb (hey that's my name!), it's goin pretty good. Just starin out at this little lake thing we got goin on over here."

"Cool cool man. I'll be sure to have some potato chips handy next time we meet, but now I gotta run off and find Professor Kao. See ya!"

Checking into the lab, I was dismayed when his assistants shooshed me out, telling me that Professor Kao was out researching in the field. Determined to find him, I walked around a bit before deciding to head up the distinct patch of grass to the north of town. Before I could, however, a hand violently yanked me to the ground.

"HEY! I'm gonna kick your a-oh it's Professor Kao..."

"Timb! Don't go into the distinct grass! There are wild pokemon there! Come with me to my lab!"

Seconds later, we were inside the nice, air-conditioned lab. Dressed in his familiar lab coat, Professor Kao motioned me to come further inside.

"Alright Timb, today's your first day as a pokemon trainer!" he exclaimed heartily.

"Uh no it's not you weirdo."

Ignoring my disdain, he continued. "Well it looks like you're all packed up and ready to go, but first I have a few questions to ask you."

"Fire away I guess."

"Excellent. First, are you a boy or are you a girl?"

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Today was going to be a long day...

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**Professors really need to have their visions checked if they can't determine what gender we are. Like seriously. Thanks for reading as always! Don't forget to leave a comment (if you want of course) and stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	2. Meet Kicker

**So last time we were left with the professor questioning my manhood. I wonder what will happen in this chapter? Read on to find out!**

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**~Chapter 2: Meet Kicker~**

"Yo Professor Kao are you done asking me these stupid questions?"

"Hmm? Oh sure Timb. This is my grandson by the way...er do you remember his name?"

I facepalmed before looking to my left. A boy around my age with spiky hair and a dazed expression on his face stood there. He looked like a douche in all honesty.

"How the hell am I supposed to know his name? He's your grandson for crying out loud!"

Professor Kao frowned, obviously upset at how bad his long term memory was.

"Oh right! His name was Amon!"

Now it was my turn to frown.

"Amon? What in the actual hell? What kind of name is that? Your son or daughter named their kid after the season 1 antagonist of "The Legend of Korra"? I mean really?"

Just then, a cold finger tapped my shoulder. Twisting around, I noticed that the douchey-looking boy was gone and in his place was a guy wearing full body black spandex and a cheap dollar store Halloween mask.

"Pokemon...must...be...equalized."

Before I could beat the living daylights out of this deranged looking individual, Professor Kao coughed and reminded me to pick a pokemon.

"Oh right. The last digit of my ID is...5."

"Terrific! Here you go!"

I stared at the poke ball in my hand, wondering what was inside.

"Alright then! Come on out!"

One customary flash of light later and a brown, humanoid pokemon with deep eyes and no visible nose or mouth greeted me.

"Lee!" it squawked as it began kicking down bookshelves and other expensive equipment. Yup it was a Hitmonlee! _My_Hitmonlee.

"I think I'll call you Kicker because you like kicking stuff apparently." I beamed. It responded by grunting before proceeding to beat up members of Professor Kao's staff. Awesome.

Just then Professor Kao assaulted me by putting some sort of headset device into my ear.

"Alright Timb with this, my greatest invention in the history of pokemankind, you will be able to understand and communicate with your pokemon in plain English!"

"Wait...what?"

"..."

"Holy crap that's awesome!"

I called Kicker over just as he was about to literally shove his foot up an assistant's [CENSORED].

"Hey Kicker what's up? I can understand you so please say something cool!"

Kicker looked at me before somehow talking despite not having a mouth.

"Hi Timb! I just finished my warm up session on these nerds. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing much, nothing much. Can't wait to get out of this hick town full of weirdos you know?"

Before our conversation could get any further, we were rudely interrupted by Professor Kao who offered Amon a pokeball. The masked freak simply stood there and held out his palm, levitating the pokeball towards him. He then turned to me and issued a challenge...I think.

"...Die!" he uttered before calling out his starter pokemon. One quick look at it and I doubled over in laughter, holding my ribs in pain.

"Th-that's your starter pokemon? Hahahahahahaha!" His black, canine-esque pokemon growled at me, which only made me laugh even harder. It was a Mightyena of course, the evolved form of Poocheyna, a common sight among newbie trainers in the Sandwich Region. It was also a dark type pokemon.

_Dark._

_Type._

_Pokemon._

Need I say more? One Double-Kick later and Amon's Mightyena was out like an overused light bulb.

"No...NOOOOOOO" cried out Amon as he hunched over his fallen dogmon. I smirked and swiped twenty bucks from his wallet before turning to leave with Kicker. Unfortunately, the good Professor still had a few things to say.

"Wait Timb! Don't forget that here in Ranto, if your pokemon faint...they die."

"That's terrific Professor...wait what?!"

"It's true. Also none of the shops here sell any potions or status healing items, just an FYI."

"What the fu...what?"

Kicker and I exchanged horrified looks. "If what you're saying is true, then why didn't Amon's Mightyena die?"

Professor Kao shrugged, but Amon had a more thorough explanation.

"Because...I...have...the...power..."

And then I heard it. _That laugh._ It was like the melding of a croaking Croagunk with the screech of a scraping chalkboard. Kicker and I hightailed it out of there as fast as we could, but it was too late. The damage was done. That sound would haunt my nightmares for the rest of eternity and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.

Oh well. On to Viridian City!

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**A rival is born. A very cliched and blatantly ripped off rival I say. I do not own Pokemon or Avatar. Onward to Viridian as Timb said! Thanks for reading as always, feel free to leave comments and reviews and stuff! =D**


	3. Errands

**Last chapter we had defeated our crossover rival and officially started our journey as a Pokemon Trainer...at least in the Ranto Region! What challenges lie ahead for us in our first city? Read to find out!**

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**~Chapter 3: Errands~**

"Kicker...why don't I have any Poke Balls?"

"I don't know man. I don't know. Watch out for those stinging nettles over there though...oh and don't step on that crack. It'll break your mother's back!"

Kicker and I departed Pallet and headed up north, intending to reach Viridian City. Along the way we encountered a very lost yet very loyal employee of the Viridian Poke Mart, who kindly offered us an illegal potion. Not wanting to cause a scene, I politely accepted his offering before tossing it in some nearby bushes.

We encountered a few random wild pokemon here and there but Kicker took care of them without too much trouble, a fact that pleased me very much. Eventually we reached Viridian City. It was a small city with houses scattered about and the usual Pokemon Center/Poke Mart combo in close proximity to each other. There was also a gym but since I was starving, we checked into the Pokemon Center first for some free grub.

"Hello and welcome to the Pokemon Center! May I heal your pokemon?" asked Nurse Joy in a robotic voice.

"Er sure."

"Okay one moment please...okay your pokemon are all healed now!"

I blinked. "Wow that was fast Nurse Joy! Thanks!"

"We hope to see you again!"

Examining Kicker, I found no traces of the minor scrapes and bruises that he had sustained over the course of our short trip and turned to once again thank Nurse Joy.

"Just wanted to say thanks again Nurse Joy! And maybe we could exchange numbers? For trainer related purposes I assure you and-"

"Hello! And welcome to the Pokemon Center! May I heal your pokemon?" she asked with that robotic smile of hers. Kicker and I backed away slowly toward the exit before making a run for it.

"Alright Kicker let's check out the Poke Mart, hopefully she won't follow us..."  
He nodded silently in agreement as we made our way to the smaller building with the blue roof. Stepping inside, we were greeted by the sight of numerous shelves chock-full of goods and wares. Noticing us, the store clerk ushered us over, looking about nervously.

"Hi I'd like to buy some Poke Balls please."

"Eh did the police follow you here?"

"What?"

"Never mind. Here, take this." He shoved a suspicious looking brown package in my arms before whispering, "Give it to Kao and tell em Johnny got the money."

"Again...what?"

Before I could continue poking around for answers, the store clerk disappeared into a back room, despite an obvious line of customers still waiting. After checking to make sure that the package wasn't ticking, we began making our way back home.

"Say Kicker...what's your philosophy on life?" I asked out of the blue as Kicker beat up on a wild Stantler not far from Pallett.

"I...like to kick things. I feel like a lot of problems in this world can be solved if you just kick hard enough." he answered sheepishly rejoining me as we walked in step.

"Well hopefully you're right. Come on let's get to the lab and deliver this package or whatever it is."

Soon we were back at the lab, with no sign of freakshow Amon or his weak Mightyena to be found. Professor Kao and his associates had evidently cleaned up the mess that Kicker had made and were now lounging around a table playing poker. We walked up to them just as Professor Kao won with a royal flush of spades.

"Professor Kao? The Poke Mart clerk in Viridian said to deliver this to you. Also he said that Johnny got the money."

"What? Oh excellent! Thanks Timb!" He scrutinized the package carefully before looking at me behind a veiled expression. "You didn't open this did you?"

"No. Can we leave now?"

"Not yet. First I must give you and Amon your Poke-Dexes!"

I looked at him quizzically. "Amon? That freak isn't here. He's probably off somewhere being a loner and-"

"Hello...Timb."

"Oh great." I sighed as I turned around and noticed my heavily breathing "rival". Before he could challenge me to another battle, however, Professor Kao threw (yes threw!) a Poke-Dex at each of us. Luckily for me, Kicker intercepted it or else I would've been in the hospital for sure. Amon caught his with his strange telepathy or bending or The Force or whatever the hell it is he does. Professor Kao then started spewing off about gathering information and other technical jargon, but I had hightailed it out of there as soon as the red device was safely in my hands.

"Alright Kicker I've got a few things to do here and then we'll head out." I looked around nervously. "We better hurry before Amon finds us. Go go go!"

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**Yikes! Nothing is as what it seems in Ranto. Timb will definitely have to be careful, but the good news is that he's got a kickass (literally!) Kicker with him and they're ready to take the league by storm! **

**As always thanks for reading! Comments and reviews are welcome and appreciated! =D**


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